The Yankees go for a crucial series victory today over the Baltimore Orioles as they attempt to move ahead of the O's in the standings for the first time since July 6th. Here's the lineup Joe Girardi will send out against groundball pitcher Scott Feldman, who they have not faced since he was on the Rangers over a year ago:

Brett Gardner CF
Derek Jeter SS
Robinson Cano 2B
Alfonso Soriano DH
Alex Rodriguez 3B
Curtis Granderson LF
Mark Reynolds 1B
Ichiro Suzuki RF
Chris Stewart C- LoHud

After starting against righty Miguel Gonzalez last night, Reynolds again finds his way into the lineup with the righty Feldman on the mound. Although Lyle Overbay has been awesome against righties this year, Girardi is sticking with the hotter hitter. Over the past week, Reynolds is 9-for-19 with three doubles and a homer (.474/.474/.789) while Overbay has battled illness and has an 0-for-11. It's understandable to stick with Reynolds, especially since he's six years younger and Overbay might be wearing down (after four more games, he'll have appeared in his most games since 2010).

Stewart gets the start over Austin Romine in the day game after the night game, and Soriano gets DH duties while the outfield goes with a Granderson/Gardner/Ichiro alignment. Granderson has homered against Feldman three times in his career in just 15 plate appearances. Jeter, A-Rod, Reynolds, and Vernon Wells have also all homered against him in minimal action, though Wells has not faced him since he was actually a productive player in 2010. The last time Nova faced the Orioles was the beginning of his resurgence, a complete game three-hit victory with 11 strikeouts on July 5th. Pitching against the Orioles in the same location at Yankee Stadium, Nova will hope to continue that momentum.

After taking a few games off due to injury, Eduardo Nunez will be ready for backup duty if needed today. In that same tweet, Daniel Barbarisi reported that the Yankees are not quite sure how many players will be immediately called up tomorrow when rosters expand. Joel Sherman said yesterday that Triple-A Scranton catcher J.R. Murphy would likely be recalled to be the Yankees' third catcher, but the Yankees could wait until the Triple-A season ends. Obviously, the MLB club is most important though, so that really shouldn't matter.

ESPN's Mike Mazzeo had some concerning tweets about CC Sabathia's velocity, which has been in decline over the past few years. This fact was quite apparent last night, when Mazzeo compared it to his velocity at starts around the same time in 2012 and 2011:

On Aug. 30, 2011, Sabathia was averaging 96.13 mph on his four-seamer. 8/29/12 93.01. 8/30/13 92.25. #Yankees

— Mike Mazzeo (@MazzESPN) August 31, 2013

Yikes. It's not a huge difference between 2012 and 2013, but this accompanying tweet comparing his velocity to his most recent start against the Rays made it worse:

CC Sabathia's average four-seam fastball velocity last night was 92.25 mph, per http://t.co/bykKqc8kPP. Was 94.07 mph vs. #Rays. #Yankees

— Mike Mazzeo (@MazzESPN) August 31, 2013

Hopefully CC still has some energy left in the tank for September; the Yankees really need him to not look like crap as he did last night if they want to make a last-ditch run at the playoffs. CC's sluggish results make Nova starts all the more important since the only starters pitching well of late are him and 41-year-old Andy Pettitte. Given how different CC and Nova appeared in Spring Training, could you imagine that there would ever be sentences like the previous one in 2013? Baseball, man.

More from Pinstriped Bible:

• Yankees Prospect Interview: Radley Haddad
• "Why'd you choose THEM?" - A Yankee fan's revenge
• Baby Bomber Recap 8/30/13: Peter O'Brien drives in six in Tampa blowout
• Yankees 8, Orioles 5: Strong offensive performance bails out Sabathia
• Why the Yankees and rebuilding will not work

It's Scott Feldman vs Ivan Nova today, a matchup that makes me cringe. Nova hasn't given up more than four runs this season, and four runs happened only three times. Feldman, on the other hand, feels like a mess even when he doesn't give up many runs. He's had success on the scoreboard of late, but he rarely looks sharp.

Perhaps today will be the day that Feldman looks like a shutdown pitcher. Perhaps today will be the day that Ivan Nova gives up four runs or more. Or perhaps Nova will pitch well and the Orioles will hit a bunch of home runs off of the bullpen. It could happen!

Michael Morse has arrived with the team and is on the bench today. Steve Pearce is not listed among the reserves and will be placed on the disabled list with a left wrist injury.

Here are your lineups for today's game:

The New York Yankees scratched third baseman Alex Rodriguez from their Saturday lineup due to flu-like symptoms, according to MLB.com's Britt Ghiroli.

The Yankees had Rodriguez slated to start at third base, but New York changed their lineup about 45 minutes before the scheduled first pitch against the Orioles. The Yankees moved Mark Reynolds from first base to third base to replace Rodriguez and Lyle Overbay is now starting at first base.

It has been a tumultuous season for Rodriguez, but he has hit well since a return from offseason hip surgery. In 22 games, he has hit .280 with an .810 OPS. Rodriguez also recently hit his 650th and 651st career home runs, putting him just nine behind Willie Mays for fourth all-time.

Rodriguez, of course, still faces a lengthy suspension from MLB for his involvement with the Biogenesis clinic. He also has had a strained relationship with Yankees' management after Rodriguez went to his own doctor for a second-opinion on an injury.

More from SB Nation MLB:

• Sports agent Ron Shapiro on Jay-Z, A-Rod and more

• Nelson Cruz apologizes for suspension

• Brisbee: Yasiel Puig, workplace obstacle

• GIFs: Darvish’s 61 mph curveball | Michael Bourn loses the ball

• Talking Nationals with ESPN’s Buster Olney

Ivan Nova is doing pretty well, isn't he? The Yankees' offense wasn't at its best today, scoring just two runs on seven hits.  Thankfully for them, Nova was more than at his best.  Nova threw a complete game shutout, allowing just three hits and one walk.  Orioles starter Scott Feldman was pretty good himself, but a pair of runs worked just fine for Nova.  The Yankees came away with a 2-0 win that allowed them to pass Baltimore in the standings.

The game could not have gotten off to much of a better start for the Yankees.  Nova threw an easy 1-2-3 inning in the first and that was followed up by a run in the bottom half of the inning.  Brett Gardner led off with a double.  He moved to third on Derek Jeter's groundout and scored on Robinson Cano's double.  After the first inning, the Yankees had a 1-0 lead.

Nova got himself into some trouble in the second inning.  He hit Adam Jones with a pitch and allowed a single to Matt Wieters, both before recording an out.  However, he came right back and got Nick Markakis to ground into a double play and J.J. Hardy to fly out.  That was the closest the Orioles got to scoring in the next several innings.  Nova allowed just one other hit through the next five innings.

The Yankees were having a difficult time themselves trying to get more runs off Feldman.  They had decent chances to score in the fifth, sixth and seventh, but came away with no runs all three times.

Nova threw just 77 pitches through the first seven innings and he came back out to pitch the eighth.  He started off the inning by walking Hardy, but that was quickly erased by Wilson Betemit grounding into a double play.  He finished off his eighth scoreless inning by getting Brian Roberts to ground one back to him for the third out.

In the bottom of the eighth, the Yankees' offense finally got Nova another run to work with.  Cano crushed a Troy Patton pitch deep over the right field wall to extend the lead to 2-0.

As the rest of the offense went down in order in the ninth, no one was warming in the bullpen.  That indicated that Nova was coming back out to try and finish off the game in the ninth, but he would have to do so against the top of the Orioles' lineup.

Nate McLouth was due up first against Nova.  McLouth lined one back to the mound.  Nova deflected it and lost the ball for a second.  By the time he found it, he had to rush his throw, which pulled Lyle Overbay off the bag.  McLouth was credited with a single and there was a runner on for Manny Machado.  Nova got Machado to fly out to left for the first out.  The inning only got scarier from there as Chris Davis came to the plate.  Davis took the fifth pitch of the at-bat to deep right field.  With the way Ichiro Suzuki was playing, it looked like the ball might be headed over the fence.  But it died on the warning track and ended up as a loud second out.  The third out wouldn't be as stressful, as Jones lined the first pitch he saw right at Jeter.

The Yankees came away with a much-needed series win and now find themselves with a half-game lead over the Orioles.

Andy Pettitte takes the mound as the Yankees go for a sweep tomorrow.  Wei-Yin Chen is expected to go for Baltimore. First pitch is at 1:05 eastern.

Box score.Graph thingy.

More from Pinstriped Bible:

• Yankees Prospect Interview: Radley Haddad
• "Why'd you choose THEM?" - A Yankee fan's revenge
• Baby Bomber Recap 8/30/13: Peter O'Brien drives in six in Tampa blowout
• Why the Yankees and rebuilding will not work
• Pinstripe Alley Podcast Episode 21: The O's/Yanks battle for September relevance

This game looked going in like it would be a bit of a slugfest: Feldman and Nova aren't exactly aces (though Nova's been quite good this year), and both have struggled against today's opponents. But the O's wasted an outstanding outing from one of their starting pitchers, and with as much as the offense has dropped off since April and May, they can't afford to waste such opportunities.

Ivan Nova set the tone early, retiring the side in order in the first on eleven pitches and getting a pair of strikeouts. Scott Feldman then gave up a run in the bottom half, when Brett Gardner led off with a double and, one batter later, Robinson Cano drove him in with his own double.

The Orioles and Yankees then traded zeros for six innings. The O's managed their only real rally in the second, as Ivan Nova led off the inning by hitting Adam Jones and giving up a bloop single to Matt Wieters, but got out of it with Nick Markakis's double play ball and J.J. Hardy's flyout. Feldman got himself into a couple of jams in the fifth and seventh, but both times, Derek Jeter hit into inning-ending 4-6-3 double plays. I would be much more smug about this had it ended up mattering.

Troy Patton relieved Scott Feldman in the eighth and gave up a homer to leadoff batter Robinson Cano, giving the Yankees an insurance run. Buck Showalter then turned to Kevin Gausman, who dazzled with upper-90s heat and got a pair of strikeouts. The O's couldn't overcome the deficit in the ninth, despite a leadoff infield single by Nate McLouth, and lost, 2-0.

The Orioles haven't played a must-win game yet - after all, it ain't over till it's over. But with every loss, they force themselves to have to play even better over the remaining games to have a chance to sneak into the playoffs. Now in fourth place and 4.5 games back from the second Wild Card, they're really going to need at least one team ahead of them to struggle in addition to going on a tear themselves.

Wei-Yin Chen will face Andy Pettitte tomorrow, as the O's will try to once again avoid a sweep in the third game of a series.

September call ups are tomorrow, but there's still news going around about a few players who may or may not be getting a promotion on the first of September.

It seems that Melky Mesa will not be getting a call up this season as his hamstring injury has been deemed to severe for him to recover in time. He would have primarily been used as a pinch runner or pinch hitter, so it's not a huge loss to the team, but it is a big loss for Mesa. The 26-year-old outfielder struck out 112 times (33.7 K%) with a sub-.300 OBP at Triple-A this season. In five games and 14 at-bats in the majors he hit .385/.429/.538, and it would be nice to see how close he can stay in that range.

The Yankees are planning to call upBrett Marshall tomorrow, despite his lackluster performance this season. He has a 5.13 ERA and 4.62 FIP with a 4.41 walk rate in 138.2 innings in Scranton. He was called up for a spot start earlier in the season and gave up five runs on nine hits and five walks in 5.2 innings. He will likely provide extra depth for mop up innings and blowouts.

JR Murphy will also be called up after being left out of tonight's lineup. There will need to be a 40-man roster spot opened up before he is brought up, so Jayson Nix could be moved to the 60-day DL. He hit .268/.352/.421 in Double-A before he was promoted to Triple-A and hit .270/.342/.430. Murphy will only serve as the third-string catcher to add some depth behind the plate. He'd probably be a better option than Chris Stewart or Austin Romine, but it's highly unlikely he'll get much playing time, if any at all.

David Adams will also be getting a call up to provide third base and second base depth. Preston Claiborne and Dellin Betances are also likely to get promotions to bolster the bullpen. (Update: Betances is in the Yankees' clubhouse, so he has been called up as well.)

Update from Andrew:

Chris Cotillo is now reporting that lefty Cesar Cabral is likely on his way up to New York as well. Cabral gained some notice in Spring Training 2012 for decent numbers before a stress fracture ended his season before it began. In his first full healthy season with the organization this year, Cabral has spent time in Tampa, Trenton, and Scranton with inconsistent numbers, but for what it's worth, he has held Triple-A lefties to a .200/.310/.360 triple slash in 29 plate appearances. (Of course, he was oddly not as good against them at the other levels despite better ERA numbers.)

Cabral has had control problems, but he has struck out 10.6 men per nine innings across 36 2/3 minor league innings this year. He's the classic "second lefty" that Girardi likes to deploy, but whether or not the 24-year-old can actually be effective is anyone's guess. Cabral will need a 40-man spot to be added to the roster, so Travis Hafner could join Nix on the 60-day DL.

Update from Jason:

It seems that Scranton beat writer Donnie Collins has heard differently about Melky Mesa and he could be in line for a call up after all. He has also heard that Jim Miller could be brought up too. Miller has actually been good in 61.1 innings of relief in Triple-A, compiling a 3.23 ERA along with a 13.2 K/9. I'm surprised he never made it up to the majors just based on his strikeout rate alone.

More from Pinstriped Bible:

• "Why'd you choose THEM?" - A Yankee fan's revenge
• What's wrong with Derek Jeter?
• Why the Yankees and rebuilding will not work
• Yankees Prospect Interview: Radley Haddad
• Pinstripe Alley Podcast Episode 21: The O's/Yanks battle for September relevance

Yesterday on Pinstriped Bible

• Yankees September call ups update: Murphy, Marshall, Adams, Mesa
• Yankees 2, Orioles 0: Nova dominant in shutout win
• Yankees lineup vs. Orioles; Reynolds stays in against the righty and CC's velocity
• Yankees Prospect Interview: Radley Haddad
• "Why'd you choose THEM?" - A Yankee fan's revenge
• What's wrong with Derek Jeter?
• Baby Bomber Recap 8/30/13: Peter O'Brien drives in six in Tampa blowout
• Around the Empire: New York Yankees News - 8/31/13

Around the Internet

• CBS Sports | Mike Axisa: The preliminary stages of the Alex Rodriguez's appeal will begin this week.
• ESPN New York | Andrew Marchand:Ivan Nova has returned to the Yankees to become their current ace of the pitching staff.
• The Hardball Times | Bruce Markusen: A look back at the 1993 Yankees, the team that showed the first signs of a turnaround after many bleak years.
• New York Times | David Waldstein: MLB let Buck Showalter know that they did not like his comments about the Yankees benefitting from an Alex Rodriguez suspension.
• New York Post | Ken Davidoff: The Yankees have found success again now that they have returned to their old slugging ways.
• New York Times | David Waldstein:Shawn Kelley is one of those rare cases that require two different Tommy John surgeries, and the second one was a little unorthodox.

Quick Hits

• Eduardo Nunez is healthy enough to return to a utility role.
• Robinson Cano has reached No. 15 on the Yankees' all-time home run list to tie Bill Dickey.

Questions of the Day

• Who will be your favorite September call up?
• Should Mark Reynolds take over as the everyday first baseman?
• What is your favorite kind of Chinese food?
• How do you drink your coffee?

Coming Up Today

• Baby Bomber Recap 8/31/13 @ 9 am
• Yankees prospects: What are the expectations for JR Murphy? @ 10 am
• New York Yankees vs. Baltimore Orioles @ 1:05 pm (Game Thread at 12:30 pm)
• Greatest Yankees seasons by age: Position players @ 5 pm

Today is September first and that means rosters have expanded and players have been called up to join the big league club. Today Andy Pettitte hopes to continue the Yankees' winning ways and go for a sweep against the Orioles. They passed Baltimore in the standings after yesterday's win and are currently 3.5 games out of the wild card, so a win today would be big. They send out their super awesome lineup today:

Today's lineup: Gardner 8 Jeter DH Cano 4 Soriano 7 ARod 5 wells 9 Reynolds 3 Nunez 6 Stewart 2 Pettitte 1

— Erik Boland (@eboland11) September 1, 2013

Brett Gardner leads off, followed by Derek Jeter on a DH day. Robinson Cano and Alfonso Soriano hit three and four in the lineup and Alex Rodriguez, returned from having the flu, hits fifth and plays third base. That's a lot to ask from someone who supposedly had the flu yesterday. Vernon Wells gets a start in the outfield while Mark Reynolds gets the start against a lefty. It's good to see that Girardi will play Reynolds against righties and lefties now, but Lyle Overbay is now a bench player. Eduardo Nunez returns from his bizarre trip and fall injury to play shortstop and Chris Stewart remains entrenched behind the plate, just because.

The Yankees have called up five players for September call ups: Brett Marshall, David Adams, JR Murphy, Dellin Betances, and Cesar Cabral. To make room for Cabral and Murphy on the 40-man roster, Jayson Nix was transferred to the 60-day disabled list and Melky Mesa was unconditionally released. The Yankees will probably try to re-sign him like they did with David Adams earlier in the season, but it is a curious move when someone like Travis Hafner could have been moved to the 60-day DL as well.

Marshall, Betances, and Cabral will offer some relief depth, with Cabral likely auditioning for a job as the left-handed specialist in 2014 since Boone Logan will be gone. Adams will provide infield depth at third, second, and first base and Murphy will serve as the third-string catcher and is very unlikely to play much.

More from Pinstriped Bible:

• Yankees prospects: What can we expect from JR Murphy as a September call-up?
• Yankees September call ups update: Murphy, Marshall, Adams, Betances, Cabral, Mesa, Miller
• Yankees Prospect Interview: Radley Haddad
• "Why'd you choose THEM?" - A Yankee fan's revenge
• What's wrong with Derek Jeter?

Heading into the top of the seventh, the game was going pretty well for the Yankees.  Their offense stranded some runners but had opened up a 3-0 lead.  Andy Pettitte had pitched six scoreless innings to continue his recent turnaround.  By the time the top of the seventh was over, the Orioles had a 7-3 lead and the Yankees were in a deficit they would not overcome.

The game started in a similar way to yesterday's game.  Pettitte came out with a easy top of the first and Brett Gardner led off the bottom half with a double.  And like yesterday's game, Gardner moved to third when Derek Jeter grounded out.  A Robinson Cano strikeout was followed by walks to both Alfonso Soriano and Alex Rodriguez.  That loaded the bases for Vernon Wells.  Unlike yesterday's game, there was no first inning run as Wells watched strike three go by for the third out.

The Yankees did get on the board two innings later.  Pettitte got into and out of a jam in the top of the third, and Gardner led off the bottom half with yet another double.  After Jeter struck out, Gardner was able to move up a base on a Cano ground out.  This time the Yankees were able to get Gardner home from third.  Soriano singled to make it 1-0 Yankees.  Rodriguez couldn't keep it going, but after three innings the Yankees had a lead.

An inning later, the offense added a couple more runs.  With one out in the fourth, Mark Reynolds drew a walk.  This was a sign of what was to come later in the inning.  Eduardo Nunez was up next and he doubled down the right field line.  With runners on second and third, Wei-Yin Chen managed to walk Chris Stewart (Chris Stewart!) on four pitches.  That brought Gardner to the plate again.  Chen then also walked Gardner on four pitches, which brought home Reynolds.  Chen finally found the strike zone again on the first pitch to Jeter.  But that at bat would also end in a run, as Jeter hit a sacrifice fly which scored Nunez.  Chen got out of the inning by striking out Cano, but the Yankee lead was up to 3-0.

Pettitte had thrown six strong innings, but all that went down the drain when he came back out for the seventh.  Michael Morse and Danny Valencia led off the inning with back to back singles.  After those two hits, Girardi opted to go to the bullpen.  Pettitte had gone six innings, allowing seven hits, and at the time, no runs.  But with the two runners on base credited to him, the no runs part was soon to change.

Shawn Kelley was brought into the game for Pettitte.  Matt Wieters came up next and he too singled.  That scored a run, making it 3-1.  And the lead would be totally gone after the next at bat.  J.J. Hardy hit a home run that hit the top of the wall.  That gave the Orioles a 4-3 lead.  With still no outs, Girardi went back to the bullpen and brought in Boone Logan.  And after Brian Roberts reached on a bunt single and Nick Markakis walked, Logan would also be pulled without recording an out.

Despite it being a one-run game, Joba Chamberlain was brought in for Logan.  After somehow getting the first out of the inning, Joba served up a three-run home run to Adam Jones which was crushed to straight-away center.  What was a 3-0 Yankees lead had now turned into a 7-3 deficit.  After giving up a home run, Joba then struck out Chris Davis, because of course he did.  Morse grounded out to end the inning, but the Yankees' offense now had a big task on their hands.

It was a task they couldn't accomplish.  The Orioles' bullpen shut the Yankees down over the next three innings and pulled out a 7-3 win to avoid the sweep.

The Yankees' next opponents are the White Sox, who come in for a three-game set in the Bronx starting tomorrow.  Phil Hughes and Jose Quintana are the starters and first pitch is at 1:05 eastern.

Box score.Graph thingy.

For six innings, hope was lost. The season was over. The sweep was inevitable. The Orioles continued a scoreless streak for their offense after being shut out yesterday and they looked lifeless against Andy Pettitte. Wei-Yin Chen struggled, turning in another short outing. All that changed in the seventh inning, when Pettitte ran out of gas and Yankees manager Joe Girardi turned to a parade of ineffective relievers.

Two three-run home runs later, one by J.J. Hardy and one by Adam Jones, and the Orioles stormed out to a 7-3 lead to avoid the sweep and keep their dim playoff hopes a little more alive for one more day.

This was not a game that looked like a victory for the Orioles. As they have done in so many recent games, they brought poor hitting along with poor pitching. Chen only lasted four innings, giving up five walks and four hits. That he only allowed three earned runs is something close to a miracle. It was not pretty, but he did limit the damage and eventually the offense broke through. It was not to Chen's benefit, but the team got the win it needed.

They finally broke open against Pettitte in the seventh inning. Pettitte had gone through six innings and only allowed five singles. The bats were flat. There was nothing happening. Then, abruptly, there was something. Newly-acquired Oriole Michael Morse led off with a single, his second hit of the day. Danny Valencia added another single. It's almost like there is something to the idea of stacking the lineup with right-handed hitters who hit well against lefties. That was the end for Pettitte and the reliever roulette began.

Unfortunately for Girardi and the Yankees, every reliever he summoned came up as a round in the chamber. Shawn Kelley came in to the game and gave up a single to Matt Wieters, scoring the O's first run. This might have seemed like a favorable match-up: Wieters batting left-handed is a struggle this year. No luck for Kelley. He then faced Hardy, who hit a fly ball to the opposite field that it looked like left fielder Curtis Granderson could catch at the fence. He jumped and the ball struck the very top of the fence.

This was the Yankee Stadium-est of Yankee Stadium home runs. It did not even make it into the seats. The ball rolled along the concrete wall. It still counts. The home run was Hardy's 24th of the season and it gave the Orioles a 4-3 lead at the time.

After Kelley came Boone Logan, the lefty in the Yankees bullpen. Brian Roberts outsmarted the Yankees by laying a beautiful bunt down the third-base line. He advanced to second when Nick Markakis walked. Given what happens when Markakis swings the bat, this was the best-case scenario. The LOOGY was a NOOGY today, and Logan gave way to Joba Chamberlain, who some Yankee fans refer to as the human white flag.

The thing about Chamberlain is he sucks this year. It's hard to fathom why anyone would think it is a good idea to bring him into a one-run game with two men on base. Manny Machado, either on his own or at the behest of the O's bench, attempted to bail out the Yankees with a bunt. It was a horrible decision and executed terribly: he popped out foul to the catcher. Why have Machado bunt? Why?

Lucky for the Orioles, Chamberlain was still involved prominently. He pitched to Jones. This, too, was a horrible decision. He made a mistake against a batter who will swing at anything and Jones did what he does to mistakes. He crushed the baseball to deep center field, 424 feet from home plate. This was Jones' 28th home run of the season and brought him up to 98 RBI for the year. It was the second Earl Weaver Special of the inning and gave the O's the 7-3 lead that held for a final score.

Of the four Yankees pitchers to pitch in the seventh, the only one to record any outs was Chamberlain, who would go two innings and had only one run charged to him - Jones.

With Chen chased early, the runs scored in support of Kevin Gausman, who pitched two innings in relief. He allowed a hit and a walk while striking out three, and showed plenty of flashes of why he is a top pitching prospect. Next he just has to do that as a starter instead of in relief. His change-up is a beautiful thing. He was credited with the win today, raising his record to 2-3. Kelley took the loss, dropping to 4-2.

Francisco Rodriguez, Tommy Hunter, and Darren O'Day all followed with a scoreless inning each. Hunter allowed two hits and that was that.

This was the first game all year that the Yankees lost at home when they led the game by at least two runs. They were up 3-0 thanks to a run-scoring single from Alfonso Soriano in the third inning, then a bases-loaded walk to Brett Gardner in the fourth inning that was followed by a sacrifice fly from Derek Jeter. The seven unanswered runs means they are now 32-1 in such games.

With Sunday's win, the Orioles are back in the first chasing position among the wild card contenders who are not in a playoff spot. They sit 3.5 games back with Oakland and Tampa Bay's game in progress at press time. An Oakland win would put the Orioles three games back at the end of the day. This is not insurmountable, but it is not an easy road, either. They are a half-game ahead of both Cleveland - who they play next - and the Yankees.

The Orioles travel to play the Indians on Monday, with a 4:05pm game on Labor Day. Bud Norris takes his act on the road for the O's, with Justin Masterson starting for Cleveland.

As September began, the Yankees were 72-63, a .533 winning percentage that was much better than the .504 of the 57-56 mark for the season after the three-game sweep at the hands of the White Sox on August 5-7. However, while the Yankees' 15-7 mark for the remainder of August ranked among the best in baseball, they still have significant work to do before they can even be in a position to move into the second WIld Card spot. The Rays currently occupy that second position with a .556 winning percentage, which is on pace for about 90 wins.

To reach that plateau, the Yankees need an 18-9 September, a .667 winning percentage for the month. It seems like a daunting task, but the Yankees have matched that pace 26 times in franchise history:

It's remarkable that once every for years, the franchise could have such a hot month so late in the season, but then again, Yankees gonna Yankee. Unsurprisingly, just six of those 26 teams failed to reach the playoffs, and all that missed out played in the pre-1968 era before divisions.

The Yankees have had a .667 September in four of their last eleven Septembers. In two of those years, it was particuarly necessary to play well down the stretch, as the Yankees were in tight contention for a playoff spot. In '05, the Yankees entered September 2.5 games behind the Red Sox for the division lead and a mere game ahead of the Angels for the Wild Card. Their .667 month tied the Red Sox for the AL East lead and they won the division title in a tiebreaker, just two games ahead of the Wild Card runner-up Indians. In '07, the Yankees rebounded from a 21-29 start in late May to move to a couple games ahead of the Mariners and Tigers entering the month, and a .704 month really helped them put some distance between them and their Wild Card contenders.

If the Yankees just win every series for the rest of this month, they will go 18-9 and reach 90 victories. Obviously sweeps against lesser teams like the White Sox, Giants, and Blue Jays could give the Yankees some insurance as they face the tougher division rivals throughout the month, including seven in a row on the road against the Orioles and Red Sox from September 9-15. It may very well come down to whether or not the Yankees can sweep the nigh-100 loss Astros in the final series of the season. The Rays and Orioles are currently ahead of the Yankees, but they will have a chance to draw closer to them with several games against them this month.

Both Jesse and Chris have made some of these points in recent articles, but it's comforting to know there's significant historical precedent beyond a couple of sensational seasons. Hell, even a .704 month of 19-8 to reach 91 wins seems hellish, but even that has been done 14 times.The Yankees have a strong history of finishing strong. Keeping up with that tradition would put them in a solid position to actually make some hay in this damn playoff race after all.

More from Pinstriped Bible:

• Greatest Yankees seasons by age: Position players
• Yankees 3, Orioles 7: Bullpen turns a lead into a loss
• Yankees prospects: What can we expect from JR Murphy as a September call-up?
• Yankees September call ups update: Murphy, Marshall, Adams, Betances, Cabral, Mesa, Miller
• Yankees Prospect Interview: Radley Haddad

Here's the lineup for today's Labor Day matinee in the Bronx against the AL Central cellar-dwelling White Sox. The Yankees were already embarassed by Robin Ventura's crew once this year back in early August; they cannot afford further humilation (especially at home) as they attempt to stay in the playoff race.

1. Brett Gardner - CF
2. Derek Jeter - SS
3. Robinson Cano - 2B
4. Alfonso Soriano - LF
5. Alex Rodriguez - 3B
6. Vernon Wells - DH
7. Curtis Granderson- RF
8. Mark Reynolds - 1B
9. Austin Romine - C 
(Courtesy of LoHud)

The lineup is almost the same as the one deployed yesterday against Orioles lefty Wei-Yin Chen as the Yankees face another southpaw, Jose Quintana. The only differences are Jeter playing shortstop, Granderson starting in right field with Eduardo Nunez on the bench, Wells on DH duty, and Joe Girardi drawing the seven of clubs to start Romine over Chris Stewart. (What would starting J.R. Murphy be? The joker? It seems highly unlikely that Girardi will start his third catcher, but I'm still curious.) Why Wells continues to bat ahead of Reynolds is beyond me since the latter is clearly the better hitter. Whatever.

In Chad Jennings' post-game notes from yesterday over at LoHud, he mentioned conflicting quotes from Stewart and Joba Chamberlain on the pitch selection to Adam Jones prior to Jones's decisive three-run homer in the bottom of the seventh, which turned a close one-run game into a much more difficult four-run deficit:

Why three straight sliders to Adam Jones? "We needed a double play right there," Chamberlain said. "I threw him the sliders and just — as aggressive as Adam is — if I threw it in a good spot and hopefully get him to roll over and get us out of that inning, and keep us within one run. That was the thought process."

Interestingly, this was Stewart’s take on three straight sliders: "I wanted to throw another fastball just to get them off there, but Joba felt confident in the slider and unfortunately, all three of them weren’t really good sliders. He just didn’t have it coming out of the bullpen, and he left one hanging and he hit a homer on it."

Oh. We sometimes rag on Stewart, but if he could tell that Joba's slider wasn't good yesterday, then Joba shouldn't have been insisting on it. Yes, I understand the adage that sometimes it's better for pitchers to throw a pitch that they have have confidence in than one that they have doubts about, but Jones clearly figured out  Joba's approach and absolutely destroyed the third slider in a row. Moral of the story? Please, please, please stop pitching Joba in remotely close games.

At least it looks like Preston Claiborne is back with the team now if his clothes are to be believed:

Looks like Preston Claiborne is back. Or, at least, there's a pile of clothes in his locker.

— Andy McCullough (@McCulloughSL) September 2, 2013

McCullough also reported that David Phelps is "not close" to returning, according to Girardi. He has started playing catch, but it still seems unlikely that he will return in 2014 unless he has significant progress in September.

A reader asked me recently about Seattle Mariners outfield prospect Abraham Almonte, who was promoted to the major league roster a few days ago after a fine season in Triple-A. Here's my brief take on him.

Almonte was originally signed by the New York Yankees in 2005, out of the Dominican Republic, initially as a second baseman although he moved to the outfield after a couple of seasons in the low minors. Although undersized, he was a switch-hitter with good speed. He had a solid season in the South Atlantic League in 2009 (.283/.333/.391, 36 steals) but didn't fully blossom in the Yankees system, generally playing adequately well but not pushing his way onto top prospect lists. He also lost time to injuries, particularly a bad shoulder in 2010.  He hit .276/.350/.392 last year in Double-A with 30 steals, which was very much in line with previous performance.

The Mariners acquired him this past February for Shawn Kelley. He hit .256/.367/.451 in 29 games for Double-A Jackson, then broke out with a .314/.403/.491 line in 94 games after being promoted to Triple-A Tacoma. The Pacific Coast League is good for hitting as everyone knows, but Tacoma is one of the better pitching parks and his home/road splits were reasonable. His wRC+ marks were almost identical between the Southern League (137) and the PCL (138). Overall he hit 15 homers, stole 26 bases, and drew 67 walks in the minors this year.

Almonte is a 5-9, 205 pound switch-hitter and right-handed thrower, born June 27, 1989. He's been overlooked due to his size and a history of injuries, but he's got some tools, with very good speed and some sock in his bat, particularly when he pulls the ball while hitting left-handed. PCL observers report that he handled both fastballs and breaking balls well this season, and he does a good job controlling the strike zone. He also drew good remarks for his defense.

I've been trying to think of a good comp. The first one that came to mind is a faster version of Warren Newson, if you remember him. Newson showed more power in the lower minors though, and Almonte is a better defender, so I'm not sure that holds up.

I'm not certain what the Mariners have here, but Almonte is certainly interesting. I hope the Mariners give him as much playing time as possible in September. He's done enough in the minors this season to merit a strong look as a fourth outfielder in 2014.

Sometimes we dread days that Phil Hughes starts because, well, Phil usually isn't very good. Coupled with the dreary weather, and it seemed like it might be one of those days. And it was, but fortunately it was for the guys not wearing the pinstripes.

Hughes took the mound on Labor Day 2013 looking to do something in September that he failed to do in all of August: win a game. He opposed Jose Quintana, who shut down the Yankees as part of Chicago's embarrassing August sweep.

After Hughes managed to make it through the top of the first inning unscathed, Brett Gardner continued his recent string of extra base hits with a leadoff double that was immediately followed by a Derek Jeter single that gave the Yankees the game's first run and the lead. In the top of the second the rains came to interrupt what would surely have been a complete game shutout by Hughes, who was replaced after a two-hour delay by David Huff. Quintana would be relieved Dylan Axelrod.

Act II of the game was scoreless until the bottom of the fourth, when the Yankees put together their most productive inning of the 2013 season. Get a snack, because this may take a while. Here we go: (takes deep breath) Alex Rodriguez double, Vernon Wells single, Curtis Granderson walk, Mark Reynolds single, Austin Romine single, Gardner double, Jeter single, Robinson Cano popout, Alfonso Soriano double, Rodriguez walk, Wells reaches on error, Granderson groundout, Reynolds groundout. 8 runs, 7 hits, 2 walks, 2 errors. Oddly enough, not a homer amongst all of the scoring. It seemed the Yankees had to take out some of their frustration from Sunday's game on poor Mr. Axelrod. But most importantly it was 9-0, and the game was well in hand.

Huff continued to shut down the White Sox until the seventh when Paul Konerko hit a solo homer off of him. All in all, it was another excellent showing for the man most suited for taking the fifth starter slot from the incumbent Hughes. He would get his second win with the Yankees as a reward  for his efforts. And in September call-up news, Cesar Cabral pitched a scoreless eighth and J.R. Murphy got the first hit of his career! Adam Warren finished off the win with a scoreless ninth.

The weather could not damper the absolute joy of this game. After the abject disaster from the day before, this game was the perfect palette cleanser. Like a lovely after-dinner chocolate following having eaten a boiled shoe.  The teams meet up again tomorrow at 7:05 PM. Chris Sale and Hiroki Kuroda are your probables.

What made the fourth inning of today's game force Hawk Harrelson to call it the "most embarrassing inning I have ever called?"

Well, Dylan Axelrod loaded the bases with nobody out on a double, infield single and a walk. That happens. Then Mark Reynolds added an RBI infield single on a ball a diving Conor Gillaspie could only knock down, and Austin Romine scored two more with a single to center, making it a 4-0 game.

Still, these kinds of things happen to a guy who doesn't have strikeout stuff. It was only a little silly because he hadn't recorded an out. More so when Brett Gardner doubled to make it a 5-0 game.

It started to get absurd when Derek Jeter's comebacker deflected off Axelrod's glove for the third infield single of the inning, stretching the Yankees lead to 6-0. Alfonso Soriano followed with a double to drive in another run, and that brought Alex Rodriguez to the plate with runners on second and third.

Axelrod got Rodriguez to pop it straight up. Phegley located it, tossed his mask to the site, got under it, and ... watched it clank off the heel of his mitt to keep the at-bat alive. Sure enough, Axelrod then walked Rodriguez to load the bases, and that ended Axelrod's day.

But the hex wouldn't lapse until two of Axelrod's runners left the field. Jake Petricka started his outing with a grounder to first. Adam Dunn went to second for the foreceout ... and threw the ball into left field, which allowed two runs to score.  Petricka then got Curtis Granderson to his a grounder to Alexei Ramirez, but the double play took too long to develop, and Granderson beat it out by a fraction of a second. Finally, Mark Reynolds ended the Sox's misery with a 4-3, and the inning came to a close after eight runs and 13 Yankee batters.

Best of all: Jose Quintana got stuck with the defeat.

He gave up a run in the first inning, but he ended the inning on a high note by stranding a runner on third with a strikeout and a popout. It also turned out to be the end of his day, as a storm popped up and caused a rain delay of nearly two hours. That took both starters out of the game (Phil Hughes for New York), and the league leader in no-decisions received the loss for a game in which he barely participated.

David Huff, the Yankees' long reliever, was much more successful. He gave up just one run over 5⅔ innings, on Paul Konerko's 10th homer of the year. That turned out to be all the offense the Sox could muster. They managed just six hits and a walk.

On the plus side: Petricka (2⅔ innings) and David Purcey (two innings) completed the game in equally drama-free fashion. As awful as they played, at least they didn't drag it out.

Bullet points:

*Alejandro De Aza committed the first of three errors on the day when he overran Derek Jeter's RBI single in his attempt to make a charging pickup. Jeter took second, although if De Aza airmailed the cutoff man like he had on the previous two days, Jeter would've had the extra base anyway.

*Avisail Garcia reached on a single, which means he's hit safely in his last 18 complete starts. Unfortunately, he was doubled off first when he didn't expect Cano to catch Gillaspie's flare in shallow right field.

Record: 56-80 | Box score | Play-by-play | Highlights

Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders:L 3-13 vs. Rochester Red Wings

LF Corey Patterson 2-4, HR, RBI - sixth homer of the season
1B Brent Lillibridge 2-4
3B Ronnier Mustelier 1-4, 2 RBI - batting .272 this season
CF Adonis Garcia 0-3, BB
RF Neil Medchill 0-3, BB, 2 K
DH Bobby Wilson 0-4, K
C Jose Gil 0-3
SS Alberto Gonzalez 0-3
2B Addison Maruszak 2-3 - batting .254 this season

Caleb Cotham 0.2 IP, 8 H, 9 ER, BB, HB - one groundout, one flyout
Jim Miller 2 IP, 4 H, 3 ER, 3 BB, 2 K
Matt Daley 2.1 IP, 1 H, 0 ER, 0 BB, 4 K
Ryan Baker 3 IP, 5 H, 1 ER, 0 BB

In their final game of the season SWB surrendered nine runs in the bottom of the first inning that gave Rochester the win and advanced the Red Wings to the IL playoffs with a Norfolk loss. The RailRiders finished their season 68-76.

Double-A Trenton Thunder: Final regular season game cancelled for rain

First playoff game Wednesday vs. Binghamton

High-A Tampa Yankees: Season over

Low-A Charleston RiverDogs:W 1-0 vs. Rome Braves

CF Jake Cave 1-4, CS
SS Jose Rosario 0-3, HBP
1B Greg Bird 1-4, RBI, 2 K - finished season at .288/.428/.511
3B Dante Bichette Jr. 0-2, K
RF Danny Oh 0-3
DH Kelvin De Leon 1-3, 2B, K - 13th double of the season
LF Daniel Aldrich 0-3, 2 K
2B Fu-Lin Kuo 0-2, BB
C Wes Wilson 0-3, K

Rookie Davis 5 IP, 1 H, 0 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, HB - five groundouts, five flyouts
Derek Varnadore 4 IP, 0 H, 0 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, HB - four groundouts, zero flyouts

With the RiverDogs one out from sending this game to extra innings tied at 0-0, Greg Bird drove home Fu-Lin Kuo with a single to give Charleston the walk-off victory in their last game of the season.

Short Season-A Staten Island Yankees: Game suspended for rain

Final affiliate with regular season games to play today and Wednesday

Gulf Coast League Yankees 1&2: Season over

As some of you may remember, I surreptitiously gained access to Joe Girardi's binder. Sneak a peek at his starting lineup guide here. What you see below is his bullpen guide.

More from Pinstriped Bible:

• Yankees prospects: What can we expect from JR Murphy as a September call-up?
• Yankees September call ups update: Murphy, Marshall, Adams, Betances, Cabral, Mesa, Miller
• Yankees 9, White Sox 1 : Torrents of rain prelude a torrent of offense
• Yankees likely need another September to remember to make the Wild Card
• Twitter reaction: Yankees fans say bad things about Joba Chamberlain

Most people have issues with their bosses. They grumble and groan about their pay, about working conditions, about those overtime hours that are always popping up, about that damned copy machine that never really works right, which management just won't replace.

For most of his life, Derek Jeter never experienced any of that. He and the Yankees have always seemed a match made in heaven, outside of a short period of uncharacteristic sniping back in the late fall in 2010. Having just finished a 10-year, $189 million contract, Jeter, a free agent, expected to still be paid like...you know, Derek Jeter. The Yankees preferred to compensate their captain like a 36-year-old shortstop with declining range, coming off the worst year of his career. Jeter's agent, Casey Close, said some stuff he shouldn't have. Then Brian Cashman said some stuff he shouldn't have. After a tense couple of weeks, the sides compromised on a three-year deal with the possibility of a fourth. Earning $16 million per season the past three years, Jeter now must choose between a $9.5 million 2014 player option and a $3 million buyout. For those of you scoring at home, the option rose from $8 million to $9.5 million thanks to Jeter's 2012 Silver Slugger award.

The 2013 season has been a calamity of misfortune for Jeter. The captain spent last off-season rehabbing a broken ankle suffered in game one of the 2012 ALDS only to break the bone again in spring training, which kept him out until July. Two brief comeback attempts were promptly cut short by leg woes and as he returns to the field for a third time this season, Jeter has to be wondering just how much longer he'll be playing baseball for a living.

An opt-in worth $9.5 million might seem like a no-brainer for a player who'll hit the big four-oh next June, but that may not exactly be the case. With $3 million guaranteed either way, Jeter's really only choosing between another $6.5 million and free agency.

Before the break heard 'round the world last October, Jeter was hardly underperforming his latest contract, no small feat, since he was nearing 37 when he signed it. Jeter finished strong in 2011 to post a 2.0 fWAR, 104 wRC+ year while making the Yankees gobs of money as he pursued his 3,000th career hit. In 2012, he looked even more rejuvenated, batting .316/.362/.429 with a 117 wRC+ and a .347 wOBA. Combine Jeter's not-too-long-ago above-average production with his larger-than-life, face-of-baseball public image, and there may be more than one rival team out there willing to risk more than $6.5 million to employ a first ballot Hall of Famer in perhaps his final season. Even if that team doesn't exist, all Jeter and Close need is for the Yankees to think it might. The pair will once again have plenty of leverage.

What's also uncertain for the Yankees is whether Jeter opting in would be a good thing or a bad thing. Jeter's player option, if accepted, would cost an unsightly $15.5 million toward next year's payroll given the average annual value of what would now be viewed under the CBA as a four-year contract. That won't be an easy figure to manage for a front office seeking desperately to squeeze in under the $189 million luxury tax threshold for 2014 while still fielding a competitive roster. On the other hand, if Jeter opts out, the Yankees are still on the hook for $9 million against the 2014 tax floor due to the $3 million buyout and the now-increased value of the previous three-year deal, some of which the team hasn't been taxed on yet. If Jeter expects to sign a one-year pact for something in the neighborhood of $10 million, the Yankees would be hit with a whopping $19 million charge against the 2014 taxable payroll for a player who may or may not be capable of contributing for a full season. For lack of better phrasing, the Yankees are pretty much screwed either way.

The best option available for both player and club might be for Jeter to opt out and sign on for a one-year 2014 deal with a 2015 player option that would help ease the pain for next season. Jeter could agree to earn $8 mil in 2014 - a $1.5 mil bump over what he'd get by opting in to his existing deal, including the $3 mil buyout - and for his deal to include a league-minimum option for 2015. That way he'd cost just $13.25 million against the luxury tax floor in 2014, and the Yankees would have a little extra wiggle room. Of course Jeter wouldn't actually play for $500K in 2015. He'd either retire or opt out and sign another deal, but by including the option, the Yankees would be able to defer $4.25 mil of his payroll hit for a year, when they presumably won't be as concerned with the now-reset luxury tax - if we're to buy the story that Hal Steinbrenner and Randy Levine are presently selling.

A Jeter-Yankee divorce would be a disaster for everyone. Jeter can't relish the idea of playing in another uniform any more than Yankee brass can stomach the thought of him doing so. The two sides need to work together from the get-go this time around. Frustrating as it must be for Jeter when he thinks about just how much money Alex Rodriguez is still owed, and for how many years, the captain has to be realistic about what he's worth now and what the Yankees can realistically afford. Odds are player and team will put their big boy pants on and figure something out, sooner rather than later. Still, the situation will be something to keep an eye on this off-season, especially as cast in the shadow of project 1-8-9 and its wide-reaching implications.

More from Pinstriped Bible:

• Yankees' great expectations: Hughes, Chamberlain and Sam Militello
• Yankees weekly preview: White Sox and Red Sox
• Yankees likely need another September to remember to make the Wild Card
• Twitter reaction: Yankees fans say bad things about Joba Chamberlain
• Yankees 9, White Sox 1 : Torrents of rain prelude a torrent of offense

September call-ups provide an opportunity for players stashed away in the minor leagues to shine for a month in what may, for some, serve as an audition for the following year. Two of the newest Yankees, JR Murphy and Cesar Cabral, made their big league debuts in yesterday's win over the White Sox. They each picked up the first of possibly many milestones to come in the victory, which is exciting for family, friends, and fans alike.

With the struggles of Chris Stewart as the Yankees' regular catcher this season, Murphy's strong season between Double-A Trenton and Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre put him on many fans' maps with the hope of a catcher that might actually bring something to the table offensively. Though he did not start the game or even play a full inning, his pinch-hitting appearance in the eighth inning of yesterday's game also delivered his first hit in the majors after he scalded a pitch to third baseman Conor Gillaspie, who was eaten up on the play. Murphy hustled down the line and was awarded a hit on the play. Could it have been ruled an error? Possibly, but it wasn't and it surely doesn't matter in this moment. Hopefully Murphy will get a chance to play down the stretch, even if he has been labeled the Yankees' third catcher. Stewart is run down and has no future on the team. There's no guarantee that Murphy's September will be an audition in the eyes of the front office, but it very well could be if the Yankees don't think Austin Romine is their 2014 starting catcher and have the sense to realize that Stewart shouldn't be either.

JR Murphy's first big league hit

Cano reacts to Murphy's first hit

Cabral came in to pitch the eighth inning of the blowout for his first appearance as a Yankee. He started his inning off with three pitches that rung up Jordan Danks looking before allowing a single to Josh Phegley and retiring Alejandro De Aza on three pitches with a mix of sliders and four-seamers. His final out of his inning came via a lineout to the third baseman by Gordon Beckham. With Boone Logan hitting the free agent market this offseason, Cabral could use September to audition for the role of bullpen lefty going forward if the team decides to cut ties with Logan or chooses to go with a two-lefty system in 2014.

Cabral's first big league strikeout

The Yankees are within striking distance of a playoff spot, which means their willingness to play unproven rookies may not be as high as we would like. Still, both these players have something to prove in regards to their futures on the team for next season, and turning enough heads with their performance can certainly get their foot in the door when spring training rolls around. If nothing else, we should at least get some enjoyment out of them when rookie hazing comes along. Hopefully that's not all that they provide this season, and yesterday's milestones were at least the first step toward that.

More from Pinstriped Bible:

• Yankees prospects: What can we expect from JR Murphy as a September call-up?
• Yankees September call ups update: Murphy, Marshall, Adams, Betances, Cabral, Mesa, Miller
• Yankees 9, White Sox 1 : Torrents of rain prelude a torrent of offense
• Yankees likely need another September to remember to make the Wild Card
• Twitter reaction: Yankees fans say bad things about Joba Chamberlain

Let me tell you what a GIF is: it is a document of the human condition. Each GIF is a snapshot, a moment in time—a time-slice, as I once heard it referred to in a hot doc about string theory and multiple universes presented by my boy Brian Greene—that is capable of capturing the full gamut of human emotions and behavioral states. Joy? We have that. Confusion? We have that. Pain? We have that. Pure, unadulterated dysfunction? Please believe. Consider the following:

An Excited Nova

Credit to Sydlexia for the original screenshot.

Great Moments in A-Rod History

I like the guy in the back who applauds immediately at the first sign of a fight breaking out. What a dynamite individual—I’d love to get to know him better.

80 Carom Wrangling Tool

After losing his 80 frame tool status, Chris Stewart can now claim to be an 80 predictor of ball ricochets. So said manager Joe Girardi who, when asked to comment on the catcher’s critical passed ball, said only that he thought "Stewie played the carom off the wall really well, and that’s why we have him here. He’s a gamer."

binderwillbind.gif

In which no one bothers to tell the outfielders—the three position players farthest from the dugout—about defensive changes.

Utility GIF: Judgmental Paul Simon

Paul Simon hears what you have to say, thinks deeply about it, and then decides it’s garbage.

Automatic Fielding

I’ve just sent off an email to the Commissioner’s Office about Performance Enhancing Instincts, and I expect to hear rumors of impending suspensions shortly. I talked off-the-record to a noted and highly sanctimonious beat reporter who wished not to be named. "Those instincts aren’t normal," he said. "They’re cat-like. This is Biogenesis all over again. This is Cat-ogenesis."

Anatomy of a Crowd: Baltimore Magic Bullet

The poor woman being struck in the head is the least interesting thing about this GIF. To say that a baseball to the head is painful is so obvious as to be redundant. (Her head stays awfully rigid, as we can see in this super close-up.) Rather, consider the fantastic reactions of those around her.

Camera guy

Subject zero, who I’ll go ahead and call Harold, is struck by the ball prior to the woman (it appears to clip his beefy forearm). Meanwhile, Harold attempts to catch the ball with camera in hand! Luckily for the camera, both his timing and location is off, and I suppose thank god for that.

Bomb shelter guy

We all know that nothing is more dangerous than a baseball in the wild. An untamed baseball has the force of 1,000 Hiroshima-level warheads. Per this alarming statistic, this man takes appropriate duck-and-cover action, serving as a role model for all the kiddies watching at home.

Reeling woman

woah

T-Rex arms

Not just one, but two.

Slick moves bro

No words for how dope this guy’s moves are. I don’t know what that thing is called when you slick your hand back like that, but this guy’s technique is, in a word, superior. I want this to be adopted as the de facto reaction for whenever there’s some baseball-related mishap in the stands—flow back, move on.

Cackling woman

YOU KNOW WHAT’S FUNNY GUYS

SOMEBODY BEING HIT IN THE SKULL THAT’S WHAT

Vietnam vet

I’d like to thank you for your service, Sir.

Bonus: She Only Wanted to Be Happy

Find our previous outing here, and follow us on Twitter for more hot GIF action.

More from Pinstriped Bible:

• Why the Yankees and rebuilding will not work
• Pinstripe Alley Podcast Episode 21: The O's/Yanks battle for September relevance
• JR Murphy likely to be among Yankees' September call-ups
• Yankees vs. Orioles Preview: Predictions with Mark Brown of Camden Chat
• GIFs of the Week: Framing, Mo is bored, and Girardi laughs at you